The shirts are killing it. If you haven’t seen the influx of pictures of people rocking our ballin’ T, then you clearly don't follow us on social media. Step 1: Remedy that. All the handles are “@ryanshawaiians” (links at the bottom of the page). Step 2: Bask in the greatness that is our ever-growing group of vacation enthusiasts. But you don’t come here for t-shirts, no matter how ballin’. You come here for Hawaiian pantaloons. The main event. So today, that’s what we’ll talk about.
Meet the “Tell No Tales”(s?).
Tropical vacations involve a lot of components: Islands, coconuts, bikinis, etc. But you also run the risk of coming into contact with the modern day pirate. You may be wondering, “How can you identify said pirates? It’s not like people are running around the Caribbean with swords and poor dental health, pillaging you and kidnapping your wife.” Well I’ve made it easy for you. They’ll be wearing the “Tell No Tales”(s?).
These bad boys just reek of doing whatever the hell you want all the time. Who wouldn’t want to rock these? These pants are so pirate, they make Jack Sparrow look like a total poser. These aren’t for the weak of heart. If you intend to rock these badass ghost ships all up and down your legs, you best be ready to live a lifestyle worthy of Blackbeard himself. 10 out of 10 scurvy-ridden alcoholics agree that they would happily raid coastal towns under the leadership of someone bold enough to strap these on. Captain Morgan would go to sleep at night and dream about being a pirate as absurdly awesome as you. Skip Engblom would look at you from across the room and mutter “He’s a real pirate, bro.”
These nasty navy knickers must be worn with caution, however. Break them out on an overly-vigilant cruise ship and you will absolutely be thrown in the brig. After all, they can’t risk you hijacking the ship and stealing all the rum, which is unquestionably on the table the second you button these up. I would recommend saving them for beach bars, where babes will be unbearably abrasive about blowing off life and bailing to pillage and plunder with such a devoted pirate.
Alliteration aside, these pants are the prime choice for letting the world know that you're going to do what you want when you want cause you’re TNT (see what I did there?).
Cruise thru life, friends.