A few weeks ago I was sitting at Madison Social enjoying lunch with a couple of my friends, when something incredibly unsettling happened. I don’t care about sports much, but I have a short attention span so I was scanning the room when I spotted a TV that was showing ESPN. Distracted by this discovery, I momentarily zoned out...that is until I read the banner for the current story being shown. It read, “Rajon Rondo walks out of Denzel Washington’s ‘The Equalizer’ due to plot holes.” This sentence struck me as incredibly odd, and I’m going to go ahead and break down the various reasons why.
Let’s start with the first thing I noticed. The banner said that Rondo walked out of the movie. Him walking out implies that he saw this movie in theatres, because you don’t walk out of your house if you dislike something, you just turn it off. “The Equalizer” was released on September 26, 2014. This story was released in early April, which makes me think that it was probably playing in one of those dollar theatres that shows out of date movies. So my first question, Mr. Rondo, is why was a filthy rich NBA player like you at a dollar theatre instead of just buying the blu-ray and watching the film on your no-doubt massive home theatre screen? Do you really enjoy being around common peasants that much? Or are you just a slave to the silver screen?
My next issue comes from one of my prior points. As I have already stated, “The Equalizer” came out in September 2014. Most movies are reviewed before they are even released, so how did Rondo not know he would dislike this movie? Apparently this is not the first time Rondo has walked out of a movie due to plot holes, and yet you’re telling me he took no initiative to investigate a movie that came out over six months ago? You have the internet, Rondo. You have a smartphone, you have a computer, you probably have an iPad. There is no reason that you shouldn’t have taken the time to, at the very least, check the star ratings critics gave this film, especially since you went through all the hassle of going to see it in a theatre. I can’t believe he didn’t at least hear something in passing about there maybe being some issues with the plot.
My initial thoughts on the matter were that some sort of conspiracy was at play here. It makes no sense for a rich NBA player who is highly critical of movies to go to a dollar theatre and watch a movie without first investigating whether or not it was worth his time. Maybe Rondo is a huge Denzel fan and he misplaced his faith. Maybe a family member wanted him to join them for an afternoon out. Maybe it was entirely spontaneous and I’m just being a jerk. The truth is, we’ll never understand this great mystery, but here is my advice to you, Rajon Rondo. Read the reviews, decide if you want to watch it based on personal preference, buy the blu-ray, and watch it in the comfort of your home. Don’t wait six months to go to the dollar theatre, it seems pretty pointless to save $9 when you’re on a NBA salary, and people might think you’re up to something…..